That quiet little voice in the back of my head: what if I just said yes more often?
As is often the case when you get some much-needed quiet time, clarity comes through. What if I just said yes more often?
Every morning, I head to the beach for a swim and a walk along the shoreline.
Thoughts rolling in, uninterrupted. What if I just said yes more often?
I have a very active, fulfilling life, for which I am most grateful.
I work really hard, and whilst I absolutely love what I do, it can become unhealthy in the sense of it being all-consuming. If I’m not working on my essential oils biz, I’m coaching my health coach students. I’m studying (Master Diploma Aromatherapy plus a multitude of biz and personal development courses). And then there is life…ya know, I have a house, a dog, husband, family and friends, not necessarily in that order, lol! There is also is the small matter of managing my health and making sure I’m thriving by my definition.
Feeling the pull towards something new
There is a lot going on, and of late, it’s very much been work, work, work. I’m really feeling the pull towards injecting some more play into my life, more adventure. To do things that are new, different and not normally in my schedule. I’ve realised that I don’t really have any hobbies that involve interaction with other people, and it’s something I’m really craving, that local sense of community.
Then yesterday, in the car, I listened to a podcast episode, ‘4 Breakthroughs: Productivity Flaws, Vision, Recovery and Adventure,’ with The Brendon Show (hosted by Brendon Burchard, one of the top personal development trainers around today). Brendon was talking about the concept of saying yes to adventure; how important it is to say yes to things we haven’t tried before. It’s also just as important to not cross things out, perhaps something we tried once or twice before, at time in our life when things were different. When we were different, and we could very well perceive those very same things in an entirely new light, in the here and now.
Brendon gave the example of a friend who is anti-camping, and when asked why, he said he’s just never liked it. When pushed as to when the last time was that he actually went camping, the response was as a teenager. Brendon went on to make the comment that camping as a teenager with your parents is going to be a vastly different experience to camping as an adult!
We hardwire in behaviours and default thinking
Sub-conscious behaviours and reactions are hardwired in from an experience; we base our future decisions, our likes and dislikes around it.
Sometimes it’s about saying yes at different stages in our life. Otherwise we run the risk of losing our sense of adventure, by basing our ‘no’ response on assumptions that won’t necessarily hold true forever and a day.
To have a mentality of ‘Sure, let’s go try it!’
The irony of the camping example
The camping was actually a really ironic example, for I too have a firmly-rooted belief that I don’t like camping. Why? Because as a teenager – there you go! – I was in Cadets for 2 years during high school; camping trips involved sleeping under a piece of tarpaulin attached by a rope to a tree. Open-ended. No sides. It always rained on those trips. The tent would invariably flood.
And then, to top it all off, one week after I graduated from High School, my Dad thought it a brilliant idea to take a family trip to Tasmania, to trek Cradle Mountain. To this day I still have no idea why he wanted to do this, he hated camping more than anyone. It rained the entire trip and I’ve not been camping ever since. I was 18 years old and it’s now nearly 20 years later. What if I just said yes more often?
Side bar (Hubby): Don’t get any ideas
Side bar: To my husband, if you are reading my words, NO, this philosophical discussion does NOT mean that I agree to go camping around Australia on an extended road trip at some point in our future. But I MAY be more open to the idea of 1-2 days localised camping, so long as the tent has actual sides and I can stand up and move around freely. Think more along the lines of ‘glamping.’ I’m not a fan of those tiny 2-man tents where you have to frog march yourself in and out.
It’s far to say this particular podcast episode of The Brendon Show was quite eye-opening at the time of listening. But the real ‘ah ha!’ moment actually hit me on my morning beach walk today.
I do this a lot! And in doing so, sabotage potential future happiness, growth opportunities and new friendships because of my default programming and associated limiting beliefs.
What if I just said yes more often?
Not to overload my schedule, to scatter my attention, but to intentionally say yes to more adventures? To say yes to more of the good things in life.
Moving past excuses and limiting self-beliefs
I’ve recently looked at some classes offered by a friend of mine who runs a local business in Perth called House of Hobby. It’s a brilliant concept, bringing women together for some laughter, connection and, well, a hobby (aka a gorgeous, creative workshop)! Whether that be Art in the Dark (yep, we don’t just have restaurants where you can eat in the dark, it now extends to the art world, too!), Watercolour and Wine, Vision Boarding, Make up, Kokedama (indoor string garden)…you name it, there’s a workshop for it.
I saw two classes on the upcoming events that straight up, I was like, ooooh that will be fun. Then my brain’s default programming kicked in:
I’m decluttering (ask Hubby, we joke if he loses his usefulness, he may just end up on the verge for collection!), becoming more minimalist, so whatever I make in an art class, well, unless it’s the next Picasso, it ain’t walking through the front door of this house…therefore following that train of thought, what would be the point in attending the class?
I’d have to hold a paintbrush in an art workshop.
That last one is actually legitimate. If you’ve followed my story for a while you will know that I have neurological damage from Guillain Barre Syndrome, which causes me a great deal of physical pain.
It’s understandable that I have a hardwired response to assess things from the perspective of ‘how much will this hurt me?’ rather than ‘what if I just said yes more often?’
Hence the reference to holding a paintbrush. There is no getting around it. It’s gonna cause some grief in the nerve burn department.
However, on the flip side, everything I do causes a pain response. From raising my right pinkie finger to sitting here, bashing out words on a keyboard. Is this default response really serving me, or is it limiting me?
Yes and no, because some things can absolutely cause more discomfort than others. Holding a paintbrush up for the better part of 2 hours with my arm at some weird angle, I can say with 100% certainty how my body is going to react. However, there is also truth to the saying that If you believe something to be true, then there is a far greater likelihood that it will come to pass.
A new way of thinking
What if I just said yes more often?
What if, without being a pain-martyr, taking into account very real physical pain and limitations, I save the “But that will cause…” statements for the activities that are truly beyond my scope, at least for right now?
What if, when the internal “But remember when…” or “But this happened…” starts up, that I acknowledge it. Say thanks, that was then and this is now, so I’m going to see how it goes?
What if I just used these experiences for what they are. A chance to meet some fabulous new people, learn a new thing, and walk away happy and engaged?
What if I just said YES more often? Now wouldn’t that be something?
Yes to booking in those classes that I was interested in. Yes to a whole lot more adventure and new experiences in the future.
And look, at the end of the day, if the masterpieces aren’t a good fit in my home, well, enough friends have birthday’s coming up over the next month or so…!!
At the time of this publication, I’m booked in for three workshops with House of Hobby. Art in the Dark, Kokedama Making and a Pottery Handbuilding workshop. Yep, in for a penny, in for a pound, I don’t do things half-arsed! If you are in Perth and are looking to try something new, you can check out Stephie Gorton’s House of Hobby website for current event listings.
Like listening to audio books? Keen on personal development? If you answered ‘YES!’ (remember the theme here *wink wink*) to both of these questions, then this may interest you. The audio version of Brendon Burchard’s latest book, High Performance Habits, is FREE until the end of January 2019, through his podcast The Brendon Show. If you download all the episodes from Season 4 of the show, you will have the entire book in audio form. Normally the book goes for around $18 on Audible or Kindle, so this is fantastic value! Remember, you will want to grab this before the end of January 2019, after which it will no longer be available for download.